Weddings are the most enjoyable event in one’s life and different nations celebrate this by their own customs. Hazara nation (you can know about them in current site) have beautiful and unique customs and traditions of celebrating the wedding. Here in steps I will tell you that how it happens to wed in Hazara nation.
Khastghari means to ask. Off course Khastghari happens when the boy’s mother asks from girls parents for their daughter to wed his son. This is a formal event when mother of the boy formally and “officially” show her desire and serious will to make a girl his daughter in law. The parent of the girl takes time to think and investigate about the boy. Gil’s parents answer the proposal in their own suitable time. It may be a week to a month.
Woman discussion (Markah)
Once the proposal is answered in positive mean “han” then the woman discussion takes place. In woman discussion the women from both bride’s (Beri) and groom’s (Damad) family meet each other at bride’s house. Where they got to know each other and the girl is also introduced to her upcoming in laws. This is enjoyable gathering and usually sweets are served.
Man Discussion (Markah)
Man discussion takes place after women discussion. It is very formal. As described by its name, the men from families of Bride and groom meet. This meeting is also held at bride’s house. This meeting decides all the rules for starting a new journey of families and the girl and the boy. The date of engagement is fixed in the meeting. The time between engagement and marriage ceremonies are also decided. In the same way Haq mehar amount and any demands of bride family or groom’s family (if any) is discussed and settled down in this meeting. As soon as the meeting is over the preparation for decided plan starts. Usually sweets are served.
In most of the nations we see that engagement ceremony is associated with exchange of rings between girl and boy but in Hazaras not only rings are exchanged but Nikah is also performed. Nikah is usually held in the morning of engagement day (sometimes one day before engagement day), only close relatives are invited from both sides at brides house. Once the Nikah is done, the molvi asks for hammer to break block of sugar called” qand” on the veil taken on bride’s head. Sweets are distributed and then groom is called upon in woman section to see her bride for the first time. Usually sweet and tea are served with other tea items.
The engagement (Sherni Khori)
After Nikah, in evening or after dinner the engagement ceremony is held. you can say that this engagement ceremony is the reception of Nikah. The bride and the groom with modern couple engagement outfits appear on the stage and exchange the rings. They also have an engagement cake which is cut by both of them. They serve it to the relatives and friends. It’s said that those girls and boys who want to get marry should eat a piece of cake given by bride or groom directly. The authenticity of results of this ritual can only be confirmed by those pals who had it. Tea items are served for guests.
Engagement Dinner (Pai Wazi)
If the engagement took place in evening then the groom has to have dinner at bride’s house. If it’s taken place after dinner in night then this dinner for groom is held the next day of engagement. This engagement dinner is known as “Pai Wazi”. ”Pai Wazi” means to open ones feet. It means the bride’s father is celebrating his son in law’s first visit to his house. Only close relatives and friends of groom and few relatives from bride’s side are also invited.
Badnos in hazaragi language means a tray. It’s the tray of gifts for bride and groom which is exchanged between them on family level. Its another fascinating event in which the newly met families acknowledge the love and respect they have for their son in law and daughter in law.
Rukhsati takes place in evening or any other suitable time but on the day of marriage ceremony. The groom takes bride with him from his father’s house. He put some money on the “bukhari”(fireplace) of bride’s house as “roi Ujhaghi”(good will).This is up to bride’s family to receive it or not. At Rukhsati the groom may call upon the musical bands to celebrate the moment. The car in which groom is going to take the bride is decorated with flowers and other decorative accessories .Its not the only car but convey of cars having the relatives of groom too. After picking the bride she is dropped at groom’s house, where her new room is waiting for her. You can say that her bharat is arrived and her Rukhsati is done. Now its time for few rasams of marriage. It include this amazing one in which the bride and groom washes one another’s toe. I don’t the reason but it observed and the water which is used for this purpose is then thrown at four corners of bride and groom’s room. It’s said that this saves them from evil eyes and brings the peace in. In the same way the groom drinks milk and from same glass bride also drinks milk. The remaining milk in the glass in being drunk by bachelor party who thinks that it will near the day of their wedding too. After these two rasams the bride is then taken to beauty parlor in order to make her ready for marriage reception at night.
Marriage reception (Arsi)
Marriage reception is same as that of engagement. The marriage cloth and the jewelry of bride is given by her in laws mostly mother in law is responsible for this stuff. All the friends and family is invited and dance and music took place. Few rasams are also performed here one of them is “Shah Bala”. The shah balas is groom’s close male friends and cousins, who apply mehndi on one of their fingers known as “kilkak” by the woman of the family. Then the shah balas gives some money to these women of the family as good will. Dinner is also served at reception with traditional and non traditional food.
Once the reception is over the bride and groom return to their house and spend their wedding night. It’s the ritual that a woman from bride’s family have to spend that night in groom’s house.
The other day it’s Valima, all the close relatives are invited by group of woman know as “Nay Wol”. These women visit houses of the friends and relatives on behalf of groom’s mother to invite them for Valima lunch at their house.The “Nai wol” has to be given some money as good will from the guests who are invited and finally after Valima the marriage ceremonies come to an end.
After that close relatives and friends invite the couple at their houses for dinner and lunch and give them some gifts. This continues for months even sometimes it continues for a year.
Due to lack of article’s capacity some ceremonies are being not mentioned in article which briefly includes Jahezi Awardan means the day when Bride family sends her Jahez to groom’s house and the ceremony of cleaning rice for wedding ceremony.
Hazaragi marriage rituals may differ in Afghanistan and Pakistan but the basic must rituals are being described in the article.